My best friend is moving out west next week.
I hate her.
But not enough to NOT be sitting with her, in her living room, watching people haggle over her crap.
"This unopened blu ray player, will you take $2.00?"
WTF. I’m so jacking up right now and can’t get it to release.
Can someone come punch me in the ribs?
The only thing helping temporarily is doing some crazy Jack LaLane meets Jane Fonda elbow up over my head bend and pull to the right.
This position is not going to work all night.
It’s barely making it now…
Oh PERFECT it’s gone into my right foot!
Now I need you to punch me in the ribs and lob off my right foot.
Bring a camera crew so you can make some money off of your karate skills oh and just follow the GPS since I can’t turn off my talk to text so I guess I’ll tag this tomorrow unless I can figure out a way to make it tab down to tags which I don’t see ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch fuck fuck fuck
I miss my life when I could go out at say 10am and stay out until 3am, then catch breakfast and be home as the sun came up.
NOW you have me in a place where I have to stay home and rest in the a/c in order to make it out the door by 3pm to head downtown. On a 78 degree day I have to change ice packs twice in the first hour, just to stay upright.
Out of ice packs, I have to drop off my friends to go see a 7pm concert in the a/c before they go out dancing all night.
I’m home by 7pm.
There are women 20+ years older than me still out for the night.
I’m so down.
I feel trapped.
They say think happy, feel happy.
It doesn’t always work.
Especially when you’re happy stuff feels unattainable.
The deaths of two people in two weeks are affecting people I love.
There is more but I’m already not in the mood to write.
Apologies to anyone who stopped to read.
Not a happy day.
It was. At least I thought so. Alas I was wrong.
Sadly it’s not because my right calf has a hostile kind of revenge against me for having to actually walk.
It’s more about suspicion, envy and expression that disability brings on some kind of right of passage/can’t you get a day job, too?
Out of kind words here.
I think I’ll get a lottery ticket so I can buy a Go Pro, a helmet to hook it up to and have the money to hire a photo editor to do my post and find the “good shots” for me.
Hey Multiple Sclerosis!
I really hate it when you get in my fucking way.
I’ve been looking forward to tonight since last month.
Slept the last two days to be ready.
Took my meds, even added caffeine.
Got nothin’ fuck you very much.
Worst part is not that you embarrassed me…it’s that I have to wait another month for another chance AND
that I have no idea how to please you so you can let me have this one night a month NO FAIL.